So many things have happened.
I didn't expect things to turn out like that.
I really wonder is it me who have actually brought this to be like that?
Why do I feel so weak?
Lost?

From a sudden of 'I miss you alot" to a sudden "I fall in love with someone else".
Why did these change just like that?
Is it cause of my previous blog?
He reassured me that he won't be unfaithful and disloyal to me.
However, it doesn't seem to be the case.
He told me he likes another person.
It really shocked me.
I am unsure why is that so?
I tried crying.
Too little tears.
Is that numb?
Or is that a feeling of being lost?
How long again will I need to take to love someone again?
It took me so much courage to love him.
But yet, things just seem to be a flop.
What should I do?
I know I am suppose to move on.
But how am I able to move on just like that?
It is just so fast and too sudden.
I really can't take it anymore.
Sleepless nights.
Feeling hungry but yet no mood to eat at all.
I want to be friends.
But how am I going to take that courage to do that?
How are things to be be like?
Once a lover.
Now no longer a pair.

Not long ago,
I had a dream of me breaking up and patching up again.
But additionally to having policeman interrograting me and trying to put me in jail too.
What is that dream trying to tell me?
I really don't know.
I really wish I can know the meaning of the dream.

What should I do?
I need to wake up.
Wake up and continue with my life.
However,
I still feel so weak.
I can't move on.
I even have plans of going back soon and keeping him company.
However, now it just ends just like that.
I really cant take it anymore.
I won't know what I will do to myself.
It just seems to be sleep, eat and do anything at all.
Life seems so meaningless now.

What is the use of being faithful and loyal to one person?
When what I get in return is disappointment.
So many assurance was given to me initially.
But now..
All are gone.
Just like the wind.
I understand that he is feeling lonely.
But now I can't even think rationally.
My mind just cant stop thinking of him.
So many things that I prepared for him.
What am I going to do about it now?
Can someone tell me something?
What should I do?

I really hate this feeling.
I don't know what to do.
Lost.
Devastated.
Sad.
Heart broken.

When can I find my heart and soul again?